It is June 29, Jason's 17th birthday. After he makes this announcment to the Red Angels at their hideout, the girls sing "Happy Birthday" to Jason, and they pull out a chocolate birthday cake with words written in red cream. The cake says: "Happy Birthday, Jason: 4 Smoking Years." Instead of 17 candles, there are 17 lit cigarettes on the cake, all Marlboro Reds.

"Make a wish, Jason," said Jessica.

"Okay." Jason blows the ashes off of the 17 cigs like a tornado. The girls cheered after all of them went out.

"What do you want for your birthday, Jason?" asked Lucy.

"I want to go out on a date with a Red Angel."

"What about me, Newport Boy?" asked Karen. "You know I love you more than Jessica."

"Wait a minute," interrupted Jessica. "Marlboro Girl can't go out with ALL of the smoking boys in this world!"

While Karen and Jessica cuss each other out, Jason whistles like a basketball referee. "WAIT! I've got an idea! How about a one-on-one basketball game between Karen and Jessica?"

"One-on-one basketball?" asked Jessica.

"Yeah. The first girl to score the most points in ten minutes will win. The winner will get me a motorcycle, a gun, and take me out on a date."

"What about the loser?" asked Karen.

"The loser will have to be my cigarette waitress-get me new packs and light my smokes for the rest of my life. You girls can smoke in this basketball game during timeouts. Karen, I'll be your head coach. Keir can be your head coach, Karen. When there's five minutes left, we'll take a 20-minute smoking break as halftime. Then we'll play out the remaining five minutes."

"Can we cheat with using lit cigs?" asked Jessica.

"Sorry, you Kool girl. Cheating with cigarettes is not allowed. Let's go downstairs to the basketball court and get ready for the game!"

All of the Red Angel girls surrounded the entire basketball court, watching Karen and Jessica practice shooting. The four sides of the court are painted Marlboro Red. Lucy is the timekeeper. When the buzzer went off, the two girls went to their respective coaches.

"Okay, Karen. Whatever you do on defense, don't pull Jessica's br***ts off. I want you to smoke her ice cold a**, but not in that fashion."

Karen nods her head at Jason. Meanwhile, Keir is cussing at Jessica.

"I want you to go out on that court, and turn Marlboro girl's body into the size of a Camel pack!" Keir screams at her. "Sack that pu**y to the court, grab the ball, run down to the other end of the court, and throw up easy, one-handed layups!"

"Wait a minute, Marlboro Menthol Man," Jessica said while taking a long, 15-second drag on her Kool. "Tackling is not allowed in basketball!"

"Keir exhaled his Marlboro Menthol smoke in her face in disgust. "I don't give s s**t about that, Jessica! Jason doesn't have a referee, nor did he say the normal basketball rules apply here! So go out there and prove to me you REALLY want to go out with Jason instead of Karen. That girl oughta take her Marlboro Reds out on a date instead!"

Jessica laughed as she took the court. Jason grabbed the ball, as the two girls put out their cigs in the tall ashtrays, and walked to the center of the court. They shook hands with each other. Jason threw the ball up into the air, and Karen won the opening tip. As Karen dribbled up the end of the court's right side, Jessica sacked her as if she was a quarterback. Jessica picked up the loose ball, drbbled to her end of the court, and threw up a one handed layup.

Jason screamed at Karen, "Karen what are you? The white hole of basketball? Come on!"

After three minutes passed, Jason called timeout, with Jessica leading Karen 16-0.

"Karen, when you shoot the ball, pull it up, and shoot it from your head! Don't throw the ball up from the same area where your v****a is at, b**ch!"

"Sorry, Coach. This is the first time I've played basketball in my life."

"Also, if Keir told Jessica to cheat by tackling, try dodging her tackles. I should've said NO CHEATING is allowed."

"I've gotta p**s, Jason!"

"Well then, let Jessica taste some of that p**s! Two can play at this game of cheating!" Jason laughed like a devil.

When Jessica dribbled up the court, Karen jumped on top of her, and treated her body like a toilet. "AAAHH!" Jessica screamed, while Karen's piss came out. When Karen saw the loose ball, she jumped off of Jessica, grabbed it, and scored her first basket of the game. After five minutes of play, Jessica lead Karen 18-10.

In the second half of the ten minutes, Karen went on a 10-0 run, although that was all of the scoring after 4:55 of playing. Keir called timeout with Karen leading 20-18 with

"Jessica, try a fake shot on Karen."

"Fake shot?"

"Yeah. Throw the ball up as if you're going to shoot. Then, dribble quickly to your right, and throw up the three."

Meanwhile, Jason gave his advice to Karen, while the two smoked the rest of their cigarettes.

"Karen, whatever you do, make sure you have a hand up in Jessica's face at all times. If she attempts to shoot, make sure you're ready to block it." He put out the Newport butt, and it caused a loud fizzle in the ashtray."

"You mean block the shot in the same way you put out that butt?"

"You got it, baby! I'm five seconds away from going out with the best smoking girl in this world."

From the center court, Jessica dribbled to the three point line, with Karen directly in her face, as if the two were having lesbian sex. At two seconds, Jessica faked a shot, and took two quick steps to her left, leaving Karen up in the air. At one second, she attempted a very long three-point shot, that went off the rim at the buzzer.

"Marlboro Reds rule!" yelled Karen, with her fists up in the air, while Keir was stomping up and down as if he was Bobby Knight.

"Where's my motorcycle, Karen?"

"Outside. It's a green Harley, since your Newports are green. I kept this box behind the bench, knowing I would win." Karen gave Jason the box. He pulled out a unloaded, silver-colored pistol, accompanied with some bullets."

"Happy birthday, Jason."

"Thanks, Karen. I need a light, Jessica!" Jessica ran up to Jason, pulled out a Newport 100 from a new pack, and lit it for him in his mouth.

"If I had to lose sometime, I'm glad it was to you, Karen," Jessica admitted. "You earned this date with a handsome guy."

"Thanks, Jessica. At least all three of us can enjoy the pleasure of smoking together and forever!" All three of them gave each other a hug, with Jason and Karen expressing "We're number one!" with their fingers.

THE END