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My babysitter Donna


Posted by Jason , Mar 01,2000,22:52 Post Reply    Forum
As I posted on the general board,My mother left me with several babysitters when I was a child.Donna was one of my regular sitters.She was a good looking 17 year old who was a heavy smoker and very strict.My mother would leave Donna a list of chores I needed to do around the house and Donna made sure that I did them.She would constantly give me orders,yell at me,and humiliate me.She was on a power trip and her smoking seemed so much a part of it.As she gave me orders,I would look at her lit cigarette,It was so symbolic of her power.It seperated us like nothing else could,she was the authority figure and I was the child that had to listen to her.One night stands out in particular.We were watching television as clouds of her smoke drifted into my face.She told me it was my bedtime.I asked her if I could wait until the show was over because I really wanted to see the end.As I asked,she looked at me as she inhaled slowly and deeply on her cigarette.She exhaled and then firmly said "No,go to bed now".As I walked to my room she said "goodnight" in a condecending tone,I looked back and she was waving goodnight with her cigarette hand!

Even if I have somewhat fond memmories of Donna now,at the time I clearly did not like her.She was by far my meanest babysitter.But,my opinions did not count.Donna was my mothers favorite sitter to use.Afterall nobody enforced her rules better and no other sitter could get me to make the house so clean.Donna and my mother became friends.They would talk,laugh,and smoke together.They even went out on occasion.They really bonded with each other.In fact,all of my smoking babysitters liked my mother and became friends with her.I had a couple of non-smoking sitters as well and it was a very different experience.Even if the non-smoking sitters were the same age as Donna,they looked younger.They were better able to relate to me,there were no cigarettes to seperate us.They seemed to like me as a friend and talked to me as an equal not as an authority figure.Interestingly,they never especially bonded with or became friends with my mother.My theory is that the girls who aspired to be older were more likely to become smokers.Also,studies have found women with power motives are much more likely to smoke,It then seems as if the smoking intensifies the quest for power.Overall,I felt a major difference in being left with smoking babysitters compared to non-smoking sitters.I actually liked the non-smoking sitters better and felt more comfortable around them,but I had more intense feelings for the smoking sitters and a deep level of respect towards them.
 

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