Anyway, I came out of the closet with my wife. (at that time we were not married)
I didn't suggest that she start, but she was really turned on by this. Well she started smoking and was up to about 4-5 a day. She never did really smoke like a real "God I love my cigareetes" smoker. However the sex was great, and I was OK with it. I have the fetish both as a smoker myself, and watching women smoke. In other words the cigarette itself turns me on.

At any rate she has a thyroid condition and apparently smoking was kind of messing with it. She quit, and we had a talk. Turns out that smoking during sex interferred with her getting off. However what has come out of this is fine. She let's me smoke and we share some smoky kisses during sex. She says it still turns her on, maybe because it turns me on so much.

To make sure she knows she turns me on also, many times when we start the sex, I don't smoke at first until I get turned on.

At any rate, we are both very happy about our sex life. The point of the story is that through good honest communication, and understanding each others wants and needs, I'm sure you can work this out. Personally, I sure wouldn't have any concern about 3-4 cigs a month, hell even a pack a month is not even smoking. But yes the danger lies in that she, or even you, or some of the other posters may turn into full fledged smokers.