There was an article somewhere on Loring's page, which said "women smoke happily, men sadly" or something to that effect... add to this the well-known fact that women who smoke, are less likely to succeed in kicking the habit than men are.

You mentioned an oral fixation... at the risk of mixing fire with gunpowder, I would dare ask you, does your wife secretly suck her thumb at night? Don't get mad at me, a lot of women do this. If so, then the cigarette thing could be her attempt to obtain comfort from something else---a little fashion accesory/comfort device which, as she has found, obviously takes some getting used to.

To wrap it up, it sounds like you & your wife really need to have a more heartfelt discussion about smoking, one which involves the subject of what it could do to HER, and is not just about your fetish... especially before the two of you make a decision to have kids. Believe me, no kid on Earth wants a hug from a mother (or a father, for that matter) who reeks of smoke. But you need to gently get your point across to her, that it makes you feel bad, to know that she's getting pleasure from breathing nicotine and tars into her healthy female lungs. Even one cigarette a month is not without risk... your wife's risk is, she could get addicted without ever knowing what hit her.