In my effort to get my gf to quit, I tried smoking just to understand how it feels like and prove to her how easy and possible to quit. The sucess story was, she actually quit for 3 years now and never smoked again.

The surprise is, during my experimentation stage, I have actually grown to enjoy smoking, so I have been on and off secretly smoking when we are away on trips separately. Initially it was just my own thrill to "steal" smoke, and I could easily stop.

But lately things are changing, I am having stronger and stronger urge to smoke more regularly and more cigs, especially now with my difficult job and higher stress level. This is like your wife who wants to smoke to relax after a hard day's work.

The problem is, I am moving in with my gf soon, so I am debating with myself, whether I should let her know about this. In one way, I don't want her to know because she might feel betrayed by me, and worse she starts smoking again too. I definitely don't want her to have health problems, she has been smoking for 10 years before.

But in another way, I am developing this sex fantasy to watch her smoke while we have sex. I never had this type of fantasy before I started smoking, and maybe looking at all the smoking porn on the net contributed to it. Is this is the beginning of a sex fetish?!

My question now is, should I tell her? and start smoking together? I actually don't want her to start because of health concerns, especially if we both become chain smokers, it will be all because of me. I am thinking just like you, maybe we can be occassional smokers, but will be become gradually and increasingly addicted without us knowing?