I was smoking away, trying to go faster, but this of course just made me get queasy quicker. Then I noticed Lindsey dialing her cell phone. I could only hear her side of the conversation. Hey Sis, remember when we were kids and mom caught us smoking? You have to come see this; Mom is making Craig do the same thing so he can get his New Years Quit Smoking Resolution annulled. Cool, see you soon. Great I thought, now both daughters have to see this. If I ever make another dumb resolution I thought to myself.Fifteen minutes later Stephanie arrived. I’m sure she wanted to believe her sister, but had to see it with her own eyes to believe it. There I was, chain smoking one after another. Stephanie heard the whole story from her mom and her sister and sat there in disbelief watching me smoke. This didn’t stop her from pulling her cigarettes out. She joined her mother and sister in a cigarette and watched me smoke while talking with mom and sister. I had known these girls for the nearly fourteen years I had been dating their mother. In fact I was there when they both started smoking. Lindsey has smoked the Marlboro Lights 100’s for several years now; Stephanie on the other hand, tends to switch brands. It’s not uncommon to see her smoking Tareyton 100’s like her mother and the next time see her smoking Virginia Slims 100’s or Marlboro 100’s. I think in the time I’ve been with her mother I’ve seen her with ten different brands. Today it just so happened that she was smoking Tareyton 100’s again. I looked up and realized time was running out. I had slowed down trying to appease my lungs. Realizing that I have to get them done I lit the last three and finished with just barely a minute left. I then returned to my position over the trashcan and found myself sick to my stomach. The girls and their mother were laughing as I vomited. They were also laughing at themselves, remembering how they got sick several times when they were caught smoking thirteen years ago. Unfortunately, I also knew what was coming next and right on cue Michelle was standing there pulling five cigarettes from the open pack. Now both girls were wide eyed watching me eat the five cigarettes. Apparently neither had ever seen that before. Once again the garbage can and I were hugging each other.
Stephanie then asked her mother how much more before he gets out of his resolution? I haven’t decided quite yet Michelle answered. Both girls asked me how I was feeling. I forced a fake smile and said I'm doing the best I can. Hang in there it’ll be nice to have you back as a smoker Stephanie said. I agree, Lindsey added. I couldn’t agree more Michelle said as she kissed my forehead. You need a shower, you’re pretty smoky. I headed off to our bedroom and took a shower trying to get clean. I also brushed my teeth twice, once before the shower and once after. After freshening up I returned to the living room and joined Michelle and the girls. The smoke was still pretty thick in the house and hit me like running into a wall. I opened some windows and turned on the fan to air out the house.
While you were in the shower the girls and I were talking about how your quitting smoking has affected all of us. They said I’ve even taken it out on them a few times. I decided they deserve a piece of your hide also, so they’ve come up with part three and half. I was not happy at this point, but I didn’t have a lot of choice. If I quit now, I don’t get the resolution annulled and the events of the weekend were all for not
Here’s the deal. We are going to have smoking races. At the command of go, you will light a cigarette and begin smoking it. Lindsey is going to go first from our team. If she finishes her cigarette first you lose, if you finish your cigarette first you will have earned one win. The game will continue until you’ve won five times or we think you’ve smoked enough. This didn’t sound too bad I remember thinking. Then Lindsey spoke up. However, here’s the catch. Each time you lose a race you have to eat a cigarette, and we will be alternating team members. Your second race will be against Stephanie and your third against our mom. You are the only member of your team, so you have to compete in all of the races. My expression went from thinking this wasn’t too bad to oh crap.