Something had been stirred inside Denise that day. She certainly was not addicted, but having been surrounded by her mothers second hand smoke all her life, she did have an inclination towards it.

The next day, Denise woke up to a smoke filled house as her mother quickly filled it up upon rising. While getting dressed, Denise saw the pack she had stolen from her mother hidden in her underwear drawer. A wicked smile ran across her face as she thought about what she might do this afternoon.

"Good morning honey" her mother said as Denise walked into the kitchen with freshly lit cigarette dangling from her lips.

"Morning" she responded.

"I think I'm going to be late tonight.....[pausing to take a drag] there's a lot of work to finish up and we have some new clients coming in" she said while the smoke poured out her mouth. "Do you think you might be able to catch dinner at Jen's?" She asked.

"I guess so"

"Good......I shouldn't be too late, maybe 8ish?" she said.

Denise's mom put down the paper she was reading and placed her cigarette in the ashtray and walked down to the basement to take some laundry out of the dryer.

Denise was sitting there eating her cereal when after a few moments she glanced over and happen to spot the burning cigarette in the ashtray on the other side of the table. The smoke was pouring copiously from the tip. Denise's wicked new thought was that she could sneak a drag from it and her mother would never know. "Jen would just die if she saw me do this" she thought. As she walked over to the other side of the table and dumped her empty cereal bowl in the sink, she must have not been paying attention to what her mother was doing. Denise reached down, slipped the cigarette in her mouth and took a three second drag like she had seen her mother do. She followed that by inhaling but could hold the smoke and blew it out trying to hold back a cough. The drag made her light headed again and she began to walk towards her room.

While in her room, her mother knocked on the door and walked in. She was standing there with her cigarette in her hand lifted by the side of her head.

"You mind telling me what you were doing a moment ago young lady!?" she asked briskly the took a drag and exhaled the smoke in the middle of Denise's room.

"What do you mean?" Denise retorted.

"I mean I cam up the stairs and was looking out the back door and saw you standing by the table" she said.

"yea....so" Denise responded.

"How come you're not telling me to leave your room with my cigarette?" Her mother asked.

"Why should I......It wouldn't make a difference" Denise said.

"Because normally you yell at me and tell me you don't want your room to smell like the rest of the house.......and if what I saw was any clue, this must not be bothering you." She said blowing a nice drag around Denise's room.

"What are you talking about" Denise said as her heart was beginning to pound as she was regretting having ever started the whole affair.

"I saw you there placing my cigarette down and you were exhaling what seemed to be like a good sized drag. Why did you do that? When did this all start?" She demanded waving her cigarette all around.

"Look mom, yesterday Jen and I were just messing around and we stole a few cigarettes and I just wanted to know what it was all about.....this morning was just another chance...its not like I'm hooked or anything. My god this is only my second day trying it" Denise said.

"Honey, if you wanted to know, how come you never asked me? I'm mean, I'm as close as you can get to an expert!!" She said and followed that with a big drag as if to show the point.

"Well, you weren't around to consult......it just sort of happened." Denise responded.

"We'll have to talk about this later. But I want you to know that I had the same feelings as you did and did the same things when I was your age. The only difference was that my mother did not take my smoking to well and that hurt me. I promised myself that I would not put my daughter through that." She said.

"Are you saying I can smoke if I want to?" Denise asked with her hands trembling.

"Not necessesarily......We'll talk later.......now get ready for school young lady!!" she said as she walked out of the room.

What the hell was her mother talking about Denise thought. All she knew was that in under 24 hours her life had been thrown upside down. Yesterday and hundreds of days before then, she could have taken one of her mom's packs and smoked them, but she didn't. Yesterday she did. She really didn't like the taste of her new found treats, but there was something about them that made her attracted to them.

During the day, she began to think about what she had done. Her mother had never talked to her like she had this morning and she thought that it had stirred some feelings in her. It was almost like she had found something that put her on a par with her mother, like they had something in common that she could share. They didn't make her feel good, but she thought that there must be something else to it.

That afternoon, she wanted to take advantage of the quiet she would have and try this smoking thing one more time. She retrieved her package from her drawer and picked up one of her mothers many lighters and ashtrays and sat down in the living room. She knew that the smoke would clear by the time her mother came home, but that maybe being indoors, she wouldn't feel like one of the neighbors was looking at her.

She removed her 3rd cigarette from the pack she had stolen the previous day and place in her lips. She let it dangle there while she used her hands to work the lighter. She brought it to life and let it rest about two inches from the long white cigarette that rested in her lips. She paused as she thought about what she was about to do and then let the flame touch the tip of the cigarette. She took a quick drag and then exhaled the smoke without inhaling.

Denise let the cigarette burn down a bit as the smoke slowly drifted off the tip and into the air around her. It was an aroma that she was very familiar with. It didn't put her off, but in fact it reminded her of her mother and the closeness that they shared. In due time she raised the cigarette to her lips, paused and thought that this time she was going to do it. She dragged on the cigarette for about 2 seconds and the inhaled all of the smoke. Within a second she exhaled it. "WOW" she thought as she realized that it didn't seem as bad as it seemed yesterday. While she did feel light headed, it was that bad.

Within a few moments, she repeated the process. This time, however she definitely did get light headed. She waited a few minutes with her cigarette burning down reveling in the feeling, as it was something she was not accustom to. With her cigarette about 3/4's of the way done, she raised it to her lips and repeated the now familiar process and a wave of unconsciousness rolled over her. She managed to extinguish the remains of her cigarette and just sat there mesmerized by the feeling.

After an hour so, she cleaned up all the evidence and returned to her normal afternoon routine.

At about 5pm or so, Denise started to get ready to go over Jen's house for dinner when she heard someone down stairs.

"Hello.....who's there?" She asked.

"Hi honey its me" It was her mother.

"What the hell is she doing home" Denise thought. "Mom is that you?"

"Yes dear.......I decided to put my work a side so we could have sometime together" she responded.

Denise put her stuff down and went down stairs to greet her.

"What's up?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing....I've been doing some thinking about what happened this morning"

"MOM!! It was nothing.....really. We don't have to talk about it." Denise responded.

"Oh, but we do!!"

"What about? You caught me....I was taking a drag off of your cigarette, o.k.? Its not like I do it all the time. I just wanted to try it." Denise said.

"I know honey. I was just like you when I was 15. I just wanted to try it. And frankly, I think I'm the only one qualified to help you discover about this. When I was your age, it was no one but my friends and mother forbid me to smoke, so I just smoked more often. I want you to know that I don't resent the fact that you wanted to try it. In fact, I don't blame you. It is such a satisfying habit!! But I think we have to address the other side of the coin as well."

"Like what?" Denise asked.

"Well, for one thing, its not a healthy habit. It destroys your health, takes control of you and won't let go. Once you make a decision to stick with it, you'll probably be doing it for life. When I was your age, I knew their were health issues, but figured I would just quit when the time came. But now I know that that isn't the case. I can't quit. I am totally addicted and need my cigarettes more than want them. I didn't realize that then and I think you should if you continue to want to try it."

"To be honest Mom, I've tried and I sort of like how it makes me feel light headed...kind of like when at New Years last year when I drank too much champagne, remember?"

"I remember!!"

"I don't know if I'll continue, but I do want to keep experimenting with it." Denise said.

"I know honey, but remember that if you keep doing that, eventually you won't be experimenting with it, but will be dependent on it. I told you that I had no one to be my guide or advisor and just walked blindly, but you and I have a different relationship. We've always been there for each other, through the good and the bad."

"Does that mean you'll show me how to smoke?" Denise asked.

"I will......but only if you want me to. I'm not condoning it, personally I wish I had never tried it and always wondered what avenues would have been open to me if I hadn't of started, but I know that having been a smoker most of my life that I really enjoy it, and will probably continue smoking for the rest of my life." She added.

"Mom, that would mean so much to me! I know its bad and is addicting, but I see how much pleasure you get out of it.....I'm not a kid any more....and if you could go through life as a smoker, so can I"

"Are you sure? I really don't want you to go through what I go through...." She asked.

"I think I am....besides, If I really don't like it and decide that I need to quit, who better to help than you mom!!"

"I know sweetie, and you have to make your own decisions. If I don't help you, you'll probably do it on your own anyway, so its a catch 22 for me. If I do, then I can show you all the hidden pleasures that come with smoking."

"Like what...?"

"We'll talk about that when the time comes" She said as she reached into her purse and extracted a pack of her cigarettes, Virginia Slims Light menthols and lit one up. It had been about an hour since her last one and she drew heavily upon it, double dragging.