A few answers

2. As a kid, every adult in my family smoked and I hated it. I was always (i.e., probably from the age of 4) attracted to women who smoked, but consciously decided as I grew into adulthood that I would never want to put up with the odor in my own home. So I guessed early on that I would never marry and that's exactly how things shook out. I dated smokers almost exclusively because that's who I wanted to sleep with, but never married one.

3. The one "love of my life" was my high school sweetheart. She never smoked and I wouldn't have wanted her to smoke. Never even fantasized about it. One of the main reasons we never got married was that I knew up front that marriage would require that I try to lead the same type of double-life that you are currently living.

I couldn't have told her, but I also couldn't have lived a lie. Feelings of dishonesty would have overwhelmed me. I knew it ahead of time and always lived my life accordingly.

Like I said, I wouldn't want to walk one day in your shoes. No offense, but I could never hide something of this magnitude from my mate. It wouldn't work out for me at all. Hiding the fetish from friends is one thing. That's easy. With my wife, I'd have no other choice than be honest -- and admittedly, I couldn't have done that. That's precisely why I'm single.

No reply necessary. This is as much discussion as I care to have.