When I was a teenager and in my early 20s,I would often meet attractive female smokers.Although I wanted more,I always seemed to end up being their "friend".One of them was named Tiffany.She was 19 and very beautiful.We hung out a lot together.I think she liked me because I would always give her rides and money for cigarettes.Sure she was using me,but I didn't care.I enjoyed every second that I was with her.I was in awe of how good she looked smoking her Marlboro Light 100s.She was a young lady who looked good and knew it.She was very confident,conceited,and egotistical.Many will disagree,but I love women with those qualities.I really enjoyed being with her as she talked about how good she looked,how women were jealous of her,and how all men wanted her.Once I tried to make a move and she said"No,you are like a brother to me".She would often go out to nightclubs,dance,and sometimes go home with guys.One of those such nights,she called me and asked me to pick her up from some guys house.Soon after she got in my car,she said "he was good in bed" and then she lit up a cigarette.I was feeling so jealous and hurt.The smoke from her cigarette went straight in my face and sort of intensified my feelings.Whenever I would see her,her cigarette always seemed to symolize that I could not have her and that she was unobtainable.Yet,her smoking made her all the more attractive to me.Since then,I have gotten much better at avoiding being a woman's "friend".I usually take it to a higher level early on.If I can see she want's to just be friends,I end all effort to keep things going.I am doing what society says I should.But,I kind of miss the special submissive feeling of wanting a woman as a girlfriend,but only getting to be her friend or only getting used by her.Perhaps I need to get in this situation again.
