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The story just keeps getting worse
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So you're saying you don't buy anything because it would sour your relationship with your wife if she found out. That's very sad indeed. Sad that you find it necessary to internalize your craving for SF material and keep everything concerning those desires secret from your wife. Were I in the same situation, I would be overcome by feelings of guilt. I'd never be able to spend one day walking around with that much guilt on my shoulders. I wouldn't be able to look the woman square in the face. Guess that's just the difference in people.